The Playoff Odds For Every NFL Team Are Out So Let's Dabble In 'Em

ESPN- The Westgate Las Vegas SuperBook has released lines for every NFL team to make the playoffs for the 2017 season. Here are the playoff odds for all 32 NFL teams.

• 11/1 to miss the playoffs in the NFL is flat out disgusting. Rob Gronkowski, Kony Ealy, Stephen Gilmore, Davis Harris, and BRANDIN COOKS are all current Patriots that did not play in the Super Bowl last year. Usually I would say it’s kinda worth it to bet No at 11/1 and hope the whole team contracts a terminal disease, but there’s really no point to lose your money.
• Miami had a quiet 10-6 playoff appearance last season. This year they’re working with a healthy Devante Parker on top of their great (projected) defense. Granted Tannehill did get a little banged up recently, but I don’t see why someone wouldn’t take +375 on that. Solid value.
• LOL Buffalo. I really, really like them. I really do. I’m a big Shady McCoy apologist. I love T-Mobile, but there’s just no chance the AFC East has 3 teams in the playoffs. Throw $80 on No to win $10. That’s what I call a free lunch at your local deli.
• Poor fucking Jets, man. 100/1 to make the playoffs. ONE HUNDRED. TO. ONE. Buster Douglas was 42/1 to knock out Mike Tyson. That speaks for itself.

• This is just about fair for Pittsburgh. Ben Roethlisberger, Tony Brown, Le’Veon Bell. There’s no 3-headed monster in the game that can compare to those 3 motherfuckers when they’re healthy. I didn’t even realize they had a top 15 defense last year too? Love Pittsburgh.
• I don’t think there’s a less attractive team in the NFL than Baltimore. Remember that Breaking Bad episode when Walter and Jesse tried to kill a fly the whole time? I’d rather watch that 16 times than watch a Ravens game. -135 odds on No is free money.
• +140 for Cincinnati is pretty damn good. They may have went 6-9-1 last season, but I’m thinking that was a fluke. The Bengals are destined to lose in the first round again. Give me that plus money all day long.
• We meet again, 100/1 to make the playoffs. The Jets and Browns are living in harmony together with their shitty odds and I love it. Cleveland did have an awesome draft, but how could you let Pryor dip after the kind of year he had? That’s the Cleveland way.

•  I’m thinking there’s going to be 2 teams to make the playoffs from the AFC South. The Colts are not one of them. That hole at Punter will just be too big to overcome. -250 to miss the playoffs is the move.
• Tennessee is one of the 2 teams from here that will make the dance. I love the Titans. I love the houses behind the endzone. I love the Marcus Mariota-Delanie Walker connection. I love Demarco Murray. I love Eric Decker and Corey Davis. I’m all in on them to lose to the Patriots in the AFC Championship game.
• Houston is the other AFC South team I have going to the playoffs. They’re D was the best in terms of yardage last year and JJ Watt was also a dead man. I’m no rocket scientist, but I also think DeShaun Watson is going to be a tad bit of an upgrade to the Brocket Ship. Don’t sleep on Houston at all this season.
• I’ve officially lost all hope in Jacksonville. I think they’ll have a great offense in Fantasy terms thanks to players like Bortles, Robinson, and Fournette, but I just have no faith. Last year I bet one of my friends their record would be over 7-9 and we know how that turned out. Never again friends, never again.

• The AFC West is like reading mandarin. All I know is to bet the over in Chargers and Raiders games and that Khalil Mack is a fellow product of a SUNY school. That’s about it. The whole league is extremely high on Oakland like they’re the ’92 Dream Team and I’m not a fan of too much hype. I’m taking the plus money of +115 on No here. Maybe they’ll make the playoffs one last time for Oakland next season.
• The Chiefs are right in the middle here with a -130 Yes and +110 No. I like ‘em for the Yes. I love everything about the Chiefs. They’re simply always there. What would the playoffs be without Andy Reid? I have faith in them to make the ‘yoffs for the 3rd consecutive season.
• Boy would I love Swag Kelly to get this starting job. Even if he does there’s no chance the Broncos make the playoffs, but it would be pretty damn cool to see. -260 all day long.
• +220 to make the playoffs? I kinda like it. The SAN DIEGO Chargers were a hell of a lot better than their 5-11 record made them out to be last season. Good thing the LOS ANGELES Chargers very well may make the playoffs this season if a whole bunch of stuff goes right. On to the NFC.

• +175 to miss the playoffs are pretty good odds for a team that’s relying on 2 superstars to not fall into a sophomore slump. As awesome as he was last season, I could see Dak coming down to Earth as Tony Romo LOL’s from his broadcasting booth perch. Yet with my luck as a Giants fan they’ll probably wind up going 16-0 thanks to an MVP season from Dak.
• I LOVE -140 for the Giants to make the playoffs. Do I love the Giants? Yes. Am I biased? Yes. Do I think they’re gonna go 13-3 or better this year? You bet your bottom dollar I do. Odell, Eli, Pugh, Shepherd, Marshall, Engram on the backs of a stiffling defense is too good to pass up. Big Blue is back.
• I think Yes is the move here as well. Do I think the Eagles are going to make the playoffs? No I do not, but I’ve been watching the NFC East every year for my 20 years of existence and I know anything could happen. It’s going to be a competitive division and I have the same rationale for Washington as well. Anyone can beat anyone on any given Sunday. There’s no reason to think 2 teams from the NFC East can’t make it and those 2 teams are up for grabs.
• See rationale above for Washington.

• There’s no point of even entertaining the idea of Green Bay not winning this division- $330 to win $100 all day.There’s only one shot of that juicy +260 bet on No to come out and that’s if Aaron Rodgers is outside of Olivia Munn’s house holding a stereo above his head while blasting In your eyes and something goes wrong. Maybe he drops the stereo on his throwing arm?
• A -180 Bet on Sam Bradford to not succeed seems pretty logical. I’m surprised this action is not in the region of -200’s.
• It’s crazy that the Lions snuck into the playoffs last year. It’s also crazy how competitive the NFC is nowadays. There’s no way that they can sneak in over teams like Tampa Bay, New Orleans, Carolina, Washington, and Arizona again.
• Daaaaaaaaaaaaa Bears. I would love to see Big Cat happy. I would love to see Victor Cruz kill it. I would love to see Mitchell Trubisky win the starting job and be Dak 2.0. I would also like to marry Emily Ratajkowski. As a wise man (Mick Jagger) once said – you can’t always get what you want.

• This is another division in which everyone can compete with everyone. If we’re feeling frisky I wouldn’t be too much against taking the +130 on No for Atlanta. You would think the reigning NFC Champion’s odds would be a little better, huh? Something’s fishy.
• Carolina, Carolina, Carolina- the biggest toss-up on the board as it’s the only team with -110 on each side of the coin. Do as you please with this one. Carolina’s too intimidating for me.
• The Saints are another team lacking an above .500 record in 2016 that can still compete on Any Given Sunday. I almost feel as if it’s worth it to take a shot with Yes at +230. Drew Brees, AP, Michael Thomas, Ingram, the Kuhn. Why not?
• The Bucs are my personal favorite in the NFC South. They’re going to be a blast to watch on Hard Knocks and the team itself isn’t too shabby with Winston’s weapons of Mike Evans, DeSean Jackson, and O.J. Howard. That’s a blast to watch. I’ve officially purchased a first-class ticket on the Buccaneers hype train.

• I’m alllllll over +375 for Seattle to fall short of the playoffs this season. I think only one team from the West is getting there and Arizona’s bouncing back in a big way this season.
• +170 for a team as loaded as Arizona as a steal and a half. Last year was a downer at 7-8-1 but they’re still loaded everywhere. That Palmer, Johnson, Fitzgerald 3-headed monster is the only one that can come close to the one in Pittsburgh. Don’t sleep on Haason Reddick to instantly improve the Cardinals’ already tremendous defense.
• There is really no hope for Los Angeles. -1600 to miss the playoffs is the only realistic play here. That team is in shambles and somehow they aren’t the worst in the division.
• Let’s play a game….Close your eyes for 30 seconds and name as many current 49ers as you can. I just did it and clocked in with a whole 3 players- NaVorro Bowman, Carlos Hyde, and Joe Staley. Now I just googled their roster and had no idea they picked up guys like Malcolm Smith, Elvis Dumervil, DeForest Buckner, and Pierre Garcon. I think that roster of 7 guys I know warrants the 40/1 on No.