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Bunch of Businesses Are Giving Away Free Food and Drinks Because In Case You Haven't Heard, It's Cold Outside


Have you heard about the weather? The USA is one giant igloo at this point. Definitely not too damn hot for a penguin to be walking around. So a bunch of places are giving free food or drinks to try to get people to be a hero and leave their house. I know a guy with two thumbs who won’t be doing that. Earlier today I tried to do the boiling water turning to snow trick. Thought it would be a wacky bit. I ended up splashing the pot of water straight into my face. So that burned a little. I tried again and it sort of worked except I failed in recording it and it’s about 20 degrees too warm for it to really work anyway, so now I just have a shit ton of ice on the front walk.

PS: if you leave your house in 0 degrees to say “sugar vortex” to get a cupcake, just swandive off a bridge.