BREAKING: Odell Beckham Jr. Likes Money And Would Like To Be Paid A Lot Of It In The Near Future

So this video came out yesterday and I thought nothing of it. Just some preseason fluff by Uninterrupted designed to get some clicks right before training camp. Then I saw my timeline start to get cluttered with takes about ODB wanting to be the highest paid NFL player, which meant the story was getting at least a little bit of traction. Then when I woke up this morning, I saw it was the number 2 story on ESPN.com.

And the Daily News even slapped it on the backpage with a ridiculous headline.

And now here we are. Less than 24 hours after training camp starts and the media has Odell’s proverbial nuts in their mouth again. Trust me, I get it’s late July and nothing else is going on. The Blogging Waterhole is dry as fuck too. But come on. Ben McAdoo is telling tales of sex-crazed lions to his players. The Giants have the chance to compete for a Super Bowl. The Jets are apparently trusting the process and going for the number 1 pick. Why do we have to take a quote about a player hoping to be the highest paid football player ever and turn it into some crazy story? Now this story is going to breed listicles of 13 reasons why Odell Beckham Jr. SHOULD be the highest paid NFL player followed by the 14 reasons why Odell Beckham SHOULD NOT be the highest paid NFL player. FS1 will probably schedule an Odell Beckham Jr. Week if they get desperate enough. There is enough white noise on the internet and on TV as is. We don’t need more. If you can name 1 player in the NFL that doesn’t want to become the highest paid player at his position let alone the highest paid player in the league, that player is a loser and probably even a communist. I don’t care if it’s Odell Beckham or Big Dick Brad Wing saying it. I want to be the highest paid blogger in the blog game. Cube monkeys want to be the highest paid primate in the cubes. Day 1 capitalism stuff right there. Odell isn’t talking about a holdout or anything like that. He just wants to get P-A-I-D as much as possible like everyone else in the world. That’s it. End of story. Now lets focus on the important issues and see what kind of craziness Mad Scientist Ben McAdoo has in store for us today.

P.S. Uninterrupted blurring out Bart Simpson is the sawwwwwftest move ever. What is this, 1992? Are people going to start protesting shirts like this again?