Ain't Nothin Wrong With A Perfectly Executed Titty Twister
I know you’re not really supposed to use your hands in soccer, but you leave your titties out there unprotected for that long and you’re pretty much asking for it. All I’m saying is that Purple Nurples are step 1 toward making soccer violent again. For years now the beautiful game has been riddled with pussies taking dives and crying on the pitch in every single match. It’s brutal for the fans, it’s brutal for the game, it’s brutal for everybody involved. But you throw a tiny ass country like El Salvador out there again the US Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in Philadelphia and all of a sudden, soccer becomes a contact sport. That contact is limited to fingers on nipples, but it’s contact nonetheless.
Biting might be crossing the line a bit.
But between the biting and the nipple play, I’d say Jozy Altidore is one lucky bitch. Usually you have to pay extra for that sort of treatment.