Guy Belts Out National Anthem Over Walmart PA System As One Does

An Ohio man is gaining viral attention after singing “The Star-Spangled Banner” over a loudspeaker in a Wal-Mart while vacationing with his family.

James Fruits, 40, of Cleveland, was captured on video while performing at the retail supercenter in Osage Beach, Missouri, on July 8. Wal-Mart posted the footage on its Facebook page, where it’s received 590,000 views since Tuesday.

“It’s blown me way and I am honored and humbled that so many people are loving it so much,” Fruits told ABC News today. “I am happy to brighten people’s day and I definitely feel like that’s my life’s mission — to make a differnce wherever I am. So if that’s bringing a smile to people’s faces while I’m on vacation with a video of me singing the national anthem, then so be it.”

I gotta be honest here. I found his performance indulgent. There’s no denying that James has a gift. The dude’s voice just resonates with everyone. I literally have an audibly inspired erection at this very moment. Sorry if this offends but it’s the truth. That being said, if you’re gonna sing the anthem, just sing it, dude. We don’t need all these vocal bridges and runs and shit. Just sing it. I’m not gonna call him a cunt in the blog because of his singing style because I dont believe in using that type of phrasing but come on.

Additionally, I’m about as patriotic as they come. I’m team America. However, I will not stop my shopping because you wanted to go viral while I’m looking for Sam’s choice aspirin because I have what the French like to refer as le hangover.

FURTHERMORE, I will absolutely not clap for anyone singing in a Walmart. Fuck that. You clap in a Walmart and you’ll clap anywhere. Have some fucking standards, Osage Beach, Missouri. (shocking that there’s a beach in Missouri. I thought that was an ocean front property in Arizona type situation. I googled it. Pretty nice place)

Don’t worry. I’m already working on a Saturday’s Are For Osage Beach shirts. Just gotta figure out if I want them to be green or blue. Tough. I’ll let you know. Good work, everyone. Except for James. But a sock in it, James, ya cunt.