A Lunatic Took a Boston Radio Station Hostage Trying to Force Them to Play Insane Clown Posse

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CBS BostonA man demanding to hear a song by the Insane Clown Posse on Kiss 108 was arrested after a tense standoff with police Monday afternoon.

As police pulled an ax and several large knives from the suspect’s car, witnesses were still trying to digest what they had just seen.

“He was just out of his mind, absolutely out of his mind the entire time,” said witness Greg Gross. 

It began just after 1:30 Monday afternoon with 911 calls about a man in a red car brandishing weapons outside the radio studios on Cabot Road in Medford where he apparently tried unsuccessfully to request the song “My Axe” by the Insane Clown Posse and then ranted about his failure to several passersby outside.

“He got out of his car with a machete, stopped a girl who worked up on the second floor and said ‘I want you to play a song for me,’” Doreen Schaivone told WBZ-TV.

A heavily armed swarm of responding officers boxed in the suspect’s red sedan outside the building and the standoff began as the suspect drank beer and huffed something from a paper bag. …

Cell phone video shows police trying unsuccessfully to subdue the suspect with a Taser and a beanbag — even as the police negotiator tried to play ball with the suicidal man’s song choice.

“The negotiating officer was trying to get that song on the radio at one point just so that he would calm down,” Gross said.

It took the better part of three hours but police finally convinced the suspect to surrender with only some minor self-inflicted cuts on his arms.

First and foremost, let’s raise a glass to the police for handling this perfectly. Cops are America’s left tackle; the work they do protecting us is vital. We can’t function without them. They can do everything exactly right a million times in a row without anyone appreciating it. But screw up just one time and the whole stadium is saying you suck and calling for your job. But let’s see the critics spend three hours negotiating with a huffing, machete-waving, suicidal, ax-wielding, taser-resistant Juggalo without anyone getting hurt.

That said, if I told you a guy would show up at a radio station with deadly weapons threatening to hurt everyone unless they played the song he wanted to hear and asked you to guess the band, how long would it take for you to say “Insane Clown Posse, of course”? One second? Maybe two? I mean, this guy is so right in the middle of their target demo it’s not even funny. Deranged loner. A misanthrope with a substance abuse problem and self-destructive tendencies who wants everyone to validate his awful taste in music. He just puts an X in every box on the ICP fan checklist. Including the being completely unaware of how Spotify or even YouTube work:

Boom. Problem solved, Juggalo. Without making Kiss deviate from their usual playlist of Taylor Swift and Bruno Mars. Fortunately, they didn’t negotiate with the terrorist. They didn’t give in, play the song and thereby encourage the hoards of ICP-loving creepy virgins to take more radio stations hostage to bring meaning to their empty lives. Crisis averted. So thanks to the police and to Kiss for saving us all from this guy and his horrible music tastes.

@jerrythornton1