Only story that matters in the entire world right now is Nate Dogg destroying the World Series of Poker. Before he left I told him that I hope he won some money but if he came back legit rich I’d saw his head off, but yesterday there was a bit of an update where Dave said everyone should root for Nate and also all of his winnings will be split evenly amongst content employees. Now, the second part of that doesn’t matter to me so much, what’s 360k anyway, but a boss’ order is a boss’ order so when Dave says it’s #GoNateGo then that’s exactly what it is.
The question on my mind as Nate sits atop the leaderboard, however, is if you were Nate then what’s your price to just disappear into the Vegas night and never come back to Barstool and never have to split your winnings? Call up your roommate and tell him to burn your flannel shirts and Blink 182 posters and just vanish?
I asked that on Twitter last night and apparently everyone who follows me is Lebron James because they were saying shit ranging from 14 million to 60 million. Lot of people set on 50 million and they’d find a way to pry themselves away from their fucking jobs. Insane, INSANE numbers. I was thinking more like a million, maybe two. Because this isn’t a “Nate can never work again” thing, he doesn’t need to live off this for the rest of his life. He can get another job, he can play poker, he can do whatever the hell he wants. It’s not like he’s running from the American government and can never go outside again, he just can’t come back to Barstool.
HOWEVER… running from Dave Portnoy might be worse than running from the Federal Bureau of Investigation? In fact, I’m sure of it. I would absolutely rather have the FBI chasing me down than Dave. Because the FBI gets bored and tired, they have other shit to do, people get away from them all the time. Dave has nothing to do other than hold a grudge. Stoolies have nothing to do other than sit at the computer desk and hunt/harass you. Running away and hiding from this life is an entirely different animal, one way more ferocious than Uncle Sam. It’s actually kinda scary to think about and put pen to paper, but Barstool is kinda like the mob and then only way you get out is in a coffin.
Having written that, and successfully scared the shit out of myself, I’m saying that there’s no amount of money I could win (max is 8 million) in order to get me to run away. Not worth looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life and I’m totally not saying this just to try and convince Nate to not run.