For anyone that says tobacco is bad for your health, I kindly invite them to watch this video. If our purple-clad friend wasn’t looking for a nice baccy buzz by means of cigarettes and pouches (like he said, he’s too big a pussy to go for old school chaw), we would have never seen a happy feet show that would make Bruno Mars and Justin Timberlake jealous.
Usually when I step into a convenience store, my emotions match this guy’s dance moves. Pure glee and happiness. So many options in so little space. Different bags of chips as far as the eye can see. At least one GIGANTIC rack of candy to go along with the small one near the register, likely with a new incredible confectionary concoction you have never heard of. Every Gatorade and soda under the sun. Maybe some weird herbal sex booster or drug that may or may not work if that’s your thing. And like 10 different ways to settle your nic fit.
However when you get to the register, the clerk is usually a max 6 on the happy scale. Clearly burned out from working in the modern day Garden of Eden. I guess the overnight hours or countless parade of weirdos and potential armed robbers/murderers can wear any man down.
But not this time. That clerk put on a show that I will never forget. When M.C. Hammer recorded that song more than 25 years ago, this was the exact reaction he was looking for. Ecstasy on the highest of levels. The bonding of black and white in a southern gas station. And a bunch of random people around the world watching it on their computer screens. OK, that last part is a bit of a stretch. But I like to think Mr. Hammer was looking to bring people together with his music and as you can see in that 139 seconds of joy, that mission was officially accomplished.
P.S. The most impressive part of that video may have been the one-swipe the LSU fan pulled off with the credit card machine.
My face after seeing the swipe
My face after seeing it in instant replay
P.P.S. The second most impressive part of the video was the cashier not giving a reaction after the customer said he wanted the black lighter. Not wanting a red or white lighter almost caused his eyes to bulge out but dropping a “Once you go black, you never go back” was just another day at the office for the cashier. Ultimate twist.
Then again, the LSU didn’t trash the red lighter for being the color of the Crimson Tide and didn’t end the video with a quiet but firm “Geaux Tigers”, so nothing about this video really adds up when push comes to shove. Which is why this video is simply a slice of internet magic.
Do your thing big man and rest easy knowing that this performance will live forever on the wonderful place known as the world wide web.