So I get a late night text from my big brother the other night, I open it up, and it’s this video. Yep, that’s him. Toothpick guy. The man just has the worst luck with busses. I feel like every one he gets on has an announcement at the beginning that says passengers are encouraged to talk about race, religion, and politics with each other.
He’s sent me some funny pictures and videos from those past experiences, but this video takes the cake. It’s incredible. There are so many layers to it. It’s like Inception. Every time I watch it I learn something new, and I know there’s at least 29147 things I missed. Before I get into it, I should preface by stating how my brother said this all started:
Apparently this lady didn’t want anyone sitting next to her. Denied entry to the seat next to her. The guy next to her in the video stepped over her, and his wife tried to pass their baby to him. She freaked out, and the dude in front of her called her out on it.
As for the video itself now, let me just hit on all of my favorite parts rapid fire style:
-This chick CANNOT get her damn earbuds in. She tries and tries and tries, with absolutely no progress made. Maybe she doesn’t have ears and forgot for a while.
-Homeboy next to her is like “Fuck dis shit I’m out” halfway into the video. Couldn’t regret starting that fight any more if he tried.
-Crazy lady hits the “Well I can’t be racist, I have a black friend” ON STEROIDS! She doesn’t have a black friend, she has a black HUSBAND, (Maybe the most blatant lie in the history of lies) and if he were here, he’d KICK YOUR FUCKIN’ ASS! But uhhh, he’s not here. Because he goes to a different school. You don’t know him.
-Her reaction to being called racist isn’t really a “HOW DARE YOY ACCUSE ME OF THAT!” as much as it’s “Fuck, my cover’s blown.” By the end, she just stops giving a fuck and snaps. “You want me to get off the bus?! Well I WANT YOU TO GET OUTTA THE FUCKIN’ COUNTRY YOU ILLEGAL!”
-She very casually declares everyone from New Jersey a pussy when telling the guy he fucked with the wrong New Yorker. “Ain’t no Jersey in me!” Uhhhh, have you seen women from New Jersey? I think you’d be surprised.
All in all a fantastic, hilarious video. Shoutout to my brother for being a little content machine and taking it right out in the open risking life and limb. He’s got a Twitter account @BigBroSays, feel free to thank him.