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The Weekend Greenie Bag - 4th Of July Weekend Edition


This weekend has not been easy. Twitter can only refresh so fast and so far we as Celtics fans have been stuck with our dick in our hands, as expected. I wanted to hold off on the Greenie Bag not because I didn’t want to pull myself away from seeing the Celtics not sign a big time FA, but because I knew there were going to be stoolies who have asshole bosses who were going to make them work today of all days. If you ask me, what is more American than being at work and doing other things than work while getting paid to work. Enter this week’s Greenie Bag. This is for those stoolies you poor, poor bastards (jk I have to do some 9-5 WFH shit today so I feel your pain). As a reminder, you can be a part of this weekly tradition by tweeting me whatever yo want with #GreenieBag or emailing

And with that, your questions…

If you couldn’t tell, Michael is talking about the Paul George trade, which I agree, what the fuck happened? I’ll tell you what happened, Kevin Pritchard is a goddamn moron that’s what happened. I’m not even talking about the Celtics and their offer, word on the street was there were other offers from other teams that was also better than what IND ended up taking. Kevin Pritchard taking over for Larry Bird wasn’t supposed to be a disaster, but my lord did he fuck this whole thing up.

Here’s the only way I can rationalize this. IND is a bunch of impatient babies and couldn’t wait 3 days to see if the Celtics landed Hayward, which in turn probably sweetens their offer for George. If you are to believe the reported offer (3 firsts and Jae + Starter), this is a MORE than fair offer for a franchise losing it’s best player and will be forced to rebuild. Now, the picks mentioned weren’t anything super high, but who’s to say the LAL pick wouldn’t be included if Hayward said yes?

Perhaps IND was more interested in having younger players who are actually tied up for multiple years, and if the other player the Celtics offered was Avery, he could leave after next season as well. Maybe they didn’t want to be stuck with Jae + mid 1st rd picks in the event the Celts DIDN’T get Hayward.

There are sure to be some who don’t buy that Celtics offer report and that’s fine, you don’t have to. The one thing we can all agree on though, is that IND fucked this up because the offer they took certainly wasn’t going anywhere, and frankly isn’t even that good.

I think the plan has always been secure Hayward first, get additional guys after. What we learned was that teams and players do not give two shits about Ainge’s timeline and instead are making decisions despite what ends up happening in Boston. Something tells me Ainge and his team thought that might happen and have a strategy moving forward.

It all comes down to Hayward though and if they miss, you have every right to question to steps that lead up to this point. The no activity at the deadline, the no trades on Draft night, all was so they could bring in Hayward.



I’ve often thought about this, if you could put together a 10 man roster of current NBA players who are renowned Celtics killers (guys who just murder us every time they play us their whole career), who would you put on your roster?  You can’t chose Lebron, either.

There are a few must haves for me (David Lee, Andre Igoudala from Philly days, Jeremy Lin, Ersan Ilyasova, Taj Gibson, Joe Johnson lifetime achievement award), but I have difficulty making a starting 5 and 5 backups.

Who would be yours? – Adam

I love this question Adam, I love it. For this exact reason we created the Shitty Player Who Is Shitty But Is Playing The Celtics So He Isn’t Shitty Award here on the blog. I’ll keep this to current players


PG – Jeremy Lin

SG – Gerald Henderson

SF – Kent Bazemore

PF – Whatever Morris Twin is on Washington or Luis Scola

C – Robin Lopez

Bench – Ilyasova, JR Smith, Jarrett Jack, Spencer Hawes, Aaron Afflalo

Honestly you could pick about a dozen more guys because the Celtics have the unique ability to make other bad players look fantastic. I can only imagine all the money guys have made simply by their agents showing teams highlights of their performances against the Celtics. Feel like a part of that should be able to go into the Celts cap space or something.


Isn’t it a little over dramatic that people are calling this offseason a disaster? We were just in the Eastern Conference Finals and added a top 3 pick. I understand why people would be discouraged if we miss out on George and Hayward but it was an unrealistic scenario to begin with. – Trevor

Trevor I tend to agree with you that things are a little over dramatic, but also justifiable. I would go as far to say if the Celtics miss on Hayward, but bring in other Free Agents that fit their immediate needs and make them better, that won’t really change how most fans view this summer. In general, people are name sluts. They don’t really care what player gets brought in if it isn’t one of the big names we hear on TV/radio. To me that’s silly because you aren’t looking at the bigger picture.

HOWEVAH, it’s right to be mad if they don’t get Hayward because of everything mentioned earlier. We’ve been talking and talking and talking about this for months, the team clearly is building around the idea that he’s coming, so to not get him is that very familiar kick to the dick we all wish we didn’t feel. But I also think it depends on where Hayward goes. If he chooses to stay in Utah, is that Ainge and Brad striking out? I dunno, because it would 100% be striking out if he went to MIA.

I’m not as mad about George because like you said it was a bit unrealistic and timing MATTERS. Once I saw all that the Celts had offered at both the trade deadline AND this summer, to me this is more on IND than Ainge not being aggressive.

The goals for me this summer were to find A) a consistent scorer B) Low post rebounding help. That’s still possible, even if it comes from guys some may have never heard of like Dewayne Dedmond or something.


Hey Greenie,

I wanted to get your thoughts on Jae Crowder, and specifically whether you will be disappointed if he is our starting 3 come the start of the regular season. In a vacuum, Jae Crowder is a very solid 3 and D guy (spare the shot selection at times), but given all the talk about getting PG13 or Gordon Hayward, or the exciting prospects of what Jaylen will look like in an expanded role, I can’t help but feel like the writing’s on the wall for Jae.

Counting down the days until summer league – Matthew

I threw in Matthew’s question because of something I saw on Twitter a week or two ago with “Celtics fans” blowing up Jae’s twitter telling him how much he sucks, how Hayward is coming and to pack his bags, all this other bullshit.

Frankly, it’s pathetic.

Personally, I’ll be disappointed only because that means they missed on Hayward, NOT because of who Jae is as a player. I said it after the playoffs and I’ll say it again. Jae wasn’t horrible in the postseason, he gave you exactly what he did during the regular season from a numbers/production standpoint. But that’s the problem. At a time when the Celts needed him to ELEVATE his play, he didn’t. Simple as that. But this notion that Jae sucks and he should be exiled out of Boston is a little overblown. Remember when that Rondo trade happened, Jae was essentially a thrown in. That trade was about moving Rondo and getting picks. In reality, Jae turned out to be a very good Celtic and CERTAINLY better than any of us hoped/imagined. He works hard, he isn’t afraid, and he is absolutely a valuable piece in today’s NBA.

But that’s not to say he doesn’t have his weaknesses. His love for step back corner threes is maybe my least favorite quality of his, and I think mentally he lets things get to him too easily and his body language reflects it. His defense took a step back this past season, but that’s not to say it can’t get back to where it needs to be. His three point shooting while improved, became a crutch instead of driving to the basket given his massive frame which was definitely annoying.

Are there better SFs in the NBA? Yes. Should the Celtics try and get those players if they can? Yes. But that in no way discredits what Jae gives this team or his value in my opinion.


What’s good Greenie,There obviously aren’t a lot of big name free agents moving this summer, and we haven’t heard about any free agents we are interested in other than Hayward really.  If Ainge can’t find any big trades and can’t get Hayward, what would you think of signing who we need to sign to be similar to who we were this year, make it to the ECF again, and sign one of the big names available next year?  Maybe make a trade or two if we need to so we can fit a big name and our lotto pick(s) on the roster and probably be favorites in 2018-2019.  Thoughts? – Ryan

Ryan, I’m glad you asked! Now since the writing of this blog things have changed, but you can find my list here because fuck working.



I send this email from the John. My fiancé and dog are sleeping and all I can do is furiously refresh twitter.

What happened? Tonight? Is there a cou amongst GMs to not make deals with Danny anymore? Is this like someone winning their fantasy football league a few years in a row and consistently fleecing people in trades so the other 11 just say no more?

I know there’s a plan. I get that Danny and Brad get paid millions to make these decisions. And I’m just taking a poop trying to make sense of it all. But how are these deals falling into place when the Celtics have better chips to move? (PG to a western conference team makes more sense than someone that will torment you year after year but whatever…. still rattled) – Michael

This is your reminder that the Greenie Bag is always open. Maybe you’re in bed and can’t sleep, maybe you’re avoiding your family at a BBQ, maybe you’re just freaked out while taking a shit, we are here for you and your takes, this is a safe place.

Do I think other GMs are making conscious decisions not to trade with Ainge? I dunno about that, but I do think on some level they don’t want to be the next Billy King. Instead I think this is a situation where all these picks actually work against the Celtics to some degree. This is why you see other teams apparently ask for the sun from the Celts and then take less from others. They know the Celtics have these picks, so they go by a different set of rules and expectations.

But I also think part of it has to do with Ainge and his hubris. He is perfectly content to take top 5 lottery talent and watch it develop over making a deal just to make one. Sure that may drive us fans crazy, but again remember, Ainge gives ZERO fucks what we think/want.

And that’ll do it for this week. I’ve already been away from Twitter for like 1.5 hours so I’m sure I missed something major, but that is my gift to you all stuck in the cubes. Stay strong, and don’t forget there’s Celtics basketball tonight.

We made it.