Instant Classic: Wizz Kid Pisses On His Neighbor's Steaks From An Adjacent Rooftop

Authorities in Maryland have charged a 7-year-old boy after they say he urinated on steaks a neighbor was grilling in his backyard.

The St. Mary’s County Sheriff’s Office says a deputy responded to a home on Hawthorn Way in Lexington Park on June 6 after the victim contacted them for a report of destruction of property.

The investigation found that the boy urinated off the roof of his home onto the victim’s grill, and the incident was caught on camera by a witness, according to the sheriff’s office.

The 7-year-old boy was charged with one count of malicious destruction of property of $1,000.

I wanna say that I need to see this video but I also understand that saying that you need to see the video of a child pissing is extremely problematic so I’m not gonna say it.

Man, what a way to ruin a cookout. You think you are just chilling on your porch, enjoying some tunes, and are gonna wind down with a couple of beers and a nice steak. Next thing you know, golden rain is splattering all over your grill and you look up to see some child pissing on your medium-rare perfection. Not good!

It’s next to impossible to get burned piss off your grill too. Stinks to high hell.

That being said, I wish I could see the reaction of this poor fella when he sees his steaks getting pissed on. I bet it was an all-timer. You have to be through the roof to call the cops on a 7-year-old for pissing.

“Yes, officer. My name is Chade Greenway and I’d like to report a crime!”
“Go ahead, Mr. Greenway. What seems the problem?”
“Well, you see, Billy Pissbottom, who lives on the 9th floor, pissed on my steaks from a roof-top terrace!”
“Mother of Christ. He’s bacc at it again.”