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Trump Plays By His Own Rules When He Plays Golf And They Are Fantastic

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Obviously the video of Trump driving wherever the fuck he wants at his own golf course that we watermarked and posted as our own went viral yesterday. It’s an excellent video; classic Donnie.

Well once it went up, stories began to flood in about Donnie’s golf antics. I’m obsessed with this one about Trump establishing his own rules on the first tee.

Let’s break these down.

1. Trump drives wherever he wants.

I mean, yeah, duh. Imagine when Trump drives up and sees those cart arrow signs pointing you away from driving near the green? No shot. He absolutely laughs his dick off at those signs. He probably plays a little side game where he sees how many of those stupid things he can run over during a round.

Of course Trump drives wherever he wants, whenever he wants, however he wants. I’m sure he takes carts into bunkers, steps out, throws his ball on the green, hops back in, drives to his putt. Why wouldn’t he?

2. Trump plays through anyone who’s in front of him.

I’ve never heard of a savage move like this but I’m obsessed with it. Genius. Never dawned on me to just play through, without warning, everyone on the golf course. Play at your own pace. No one else matters.

Look at how ruthless he is with it too.

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……..

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Live look at Donnie playing through.

Going to have to adopt this one. It’s a no brainer.

3. Trump has the honor on every hole no matter what.

This one makes it very clear that all of Trump’s rules are about asserting dominance. The first one, driving wherever you want? Asserting dominance on the course. You own that bitch (literally).

The second one, playing through anyone and everyone that happens to be in front of you? Asserting dominance against all other people on the course.

And this last one, hitting first on every tee? No matter what? That’s asserting dominance against your playing partners. Oh, you made birdie against my double? Get the fuck out of the way. I’m up.

I know we say it a lot, but #PowerMovesOnly from Trump. Guy never fails.

PS — lol Trump doesn’t make doubles.

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PPS — Introducing, Donnie Fairways.