An Investigation: Are These Spencer's Gifts Employees The Sexiest Dancers We've Ever Seen?

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Right from the jump, I say yeah. They are. I’m mean, massive credit to them for not taking their 15-minute break to go outside and rip some cigs. They went out there to bring the world joy through the art of dance. Incredible.

Some people sat in their cube yesterday and sulked about the weekend. Not these bros. They got out there and did the damn thing. Leg kicks. Tiptoes. Whips and nae naes. Their movements were pure and fluid. In my most humble opinion (said without the H to sound like UMble) this is what the world needs right now. We dont need men in rompers and lace shorts. We need men with zip-up leather pants who are willing to ignore the haters and losers and just fucking dance. Dance, man. Dance.

Side note about Spencer gifts. When I was younger, I used to love going in that store. You could make your way to the back and see some coffee mugs with some boobies growing out of it or even thumb your way through the posters if you were lucky. I’d see this bad boy and take as many mental pictures as I could. Hey, Carmen! Move the suspender strap for me one time!


Please do not think about me masturbating as that makes me uncomfortable. It’s my right to request that you don’t.

Edit: Due to an overwhelming request, here’s the Goth Bridge Kids, Bitcces.