Today Sucks So Bad The White House Communications Director Resigned Before 8AM

Props to Michael Dubke here. The ultimate mailing it in — straight up resigns before 8AM. Heroic really. Today sucks balls and everyone knows it. Especially sucks for those of you out there with real life jobs where you have to be presentable and professional and shit. Can’t even imagine that. I’m in jeans and a hoodie and haven’t showered and I want to cry at my desk. You know it’s an extra shitty day when Kevin’s miserable ass is up tweeting about it before 5AM.

Maybe the most impressive part of this move is that not only did Dubke call it quits immediately after Memorial Day, but he had the foresight to know it TWO WEEKS ago.

SourceWhite House communications director Mike Dubke is leaving the White House.

He told CNN Tuesday he submitted his resignation on May 18 but offered to stay until the end of President Donald Trump’s foreign trip. A final day has not been set, Dubke said.

Genius. Guy looked at his calendar, saw MDW on the horizon, panicked, handed in his resignation. “Yeah so I’m going to do my job right up to the shittiest day on the calendar then I’m done. At that time I will stop doing my job.” Well played.

Apparently they’re saying his final day is not known. I know it — it was last Friday.