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Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher

SST

New MexicoThe Silver High School head volleyball coach has been charged with having sex with a student.

The New Mexico State Police said that Tiana Sanchez, also a math teacher at the school, was arrested Thursday and charged with four counts of criminal sexual penetration of a child.

State police said officers were contacted last week by the mother of a Silver student concerning a possible sexual relationship.

In an interview with police, the student admitted he had sexual intercourse with Sanchez approximately four times within the last month. Also, the student’s phone contained text and photographs with sexual content between the student and Sanchez, police said.

I wasn’t about to let us head into the first great holiday weekend of the year (sorry, Martin Luther King. I didn’t give birth to you in mid-January) without pulling one more Sex Scandal Teacher out of my overflowing inbox. And Tiana Sanchez gets the call.

You have to give her credit where it’s due. I’m not sure how many – if any – SSTs I’ve graded out of New Mexico. But it can’t be many given the state is 99% sand, mesas, sagebrush and RV meth labs. But that didn’t stop her from stepping up to the plate and swinging for the fences against the big girls from places like Florida and Texas. The fact that Land of Enchantment is practically all drug smugglers and personal injury lawyers (Note: Obviously everything I know about the place I learned from Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul. Aside from that, I got nothing.) stand in the way of her dreaming big dreams. And if a kid from a school that was probably named after the Lone Ranger’s horse is going to bone just one math teacher/volleyball coach in the roadside stand they call home, I’m glad he made it be Tiana Sanchez.

The Grades:
Looks: She teaches high school math? If you told me Tiana plays volleyball for New Mexico State, I’d have believed you. And while we can’t see her body, I’ll just make an assumption that since volleyball is her thing, it’s pretty banging. Now. Let’s talk about the elephant in the room. What’s up with that left eye? If it’s permanent, from say a car accident or childhood injury I’m sorry. If it’s just from getting hit with a ball or something, maybe she ought to wait until it heals before she poses for a portrait. Either way she looks like the abused girlfriend from a Lifetime Original Movie. But even with that, she’s good enough for a solid
Grade: B

Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: Hers is not the greatest, most detail-rich story we’ve seen lately. Not when you’ve got one teacher doing seven student and another stealing her sons phone so she can Snapchat porns to his friends. But we’ve got nude texts, dirty talk and a kid admitting they did it four times. And while I’m intrigued with that charge of “sexual penetration of a minor,” my guess is that’s just legalese for him penetrating her. She is what the football scouts would call somehow who’s game tape doesn’t pop.
Grade: C-

Intangibles: Dirty Sanchez.
Grade: B

Overall: C. Not one of the greats. But I’m confident Memorial Day weekend will bring us a lot more

Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 or email me at jerry@barstoolsports.com. Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.