Kudos to the Heroic Motorist Who Plowed His Truck Into AnalTech and Released Smelly Gas


NY Daily NewsIt was an unforgettable day at the memorably-named company AnalTech.

At approximately 6:30 a.m. Monday, a car crash involving two pickup trucks sent one of the vehicles inside the AnalTech building of Newark, Del., leaving a giant hole.

The truck damaged the facility’s laboratory and caused an odor to emanate from the cavity, WDEL reports.

Accordingly, first responders alerted the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Control, which brought in a HazMat team to handle any leaks. …

While AnalTech, a manufacturer of thin-layer chromatography plates, could not be reached for comment about the incident, they’ve been vocal in the past about the history of its company name.

In an email sent to the Houston Chronicle, a spokesperson revealed, “In 1964, the company paid a marketing firm to come up with a different name. They said, ‘Well, you guys do Analytical Technology – why don’t you put the two words together and call it ‘AnalTech!’ ”

The world is in turmoil. War. Death. Destruction. Terror. A massive refugee crisis. Scandal. Impeachment talk. Madmen hellbent on going nuclear. The NBA playoffs. What we need now more than anything is the kind of relief that can only come from a hero like this truck driver giving tabloids like the Daily News the gift that never stops giving: Ass puns.

Plowing. Foul odors. Giant holes. Leaking gasses. This beautiful soul couldn’t have served it up any better unless he was driving a Dodge Ram, AnalTech right in the back door, pulled out and sprayed engine fluid all over the back of the building. And if you’re going to slam your vehicle into the side of one manufacturer of thin-layer chromatography plates, make sure it’s AnalTech. Because ass jokes never get old. So thank you, good sir. And thank you whoever chose to spend 50 years running a company with Anal in the name. The human race needed this.