In Peru You Can Stay In Cliffside Camping Pods If You Feel Like Being An Asshole And Dying For No Reason

Why on God’s green Earth would someone ever stay in these? You have to hike 1,300 feet just to get to the damn thing. So we’re going on vacation and in order to get to the “lodge” I have to sweat my dick off climbing up a mountain? There’s not enough money in the country of Peru to pay me to do this.

First off, camping is just an insane thing to do. If my family ever suggested to go camping I would laugh in their faces. Luckily, my parents were from Brooklyn so there was no shot of them ever suggesting such an adventure. If we’re going to get away for a little bit we better be going to Florida or a tropical resort. I saw the Parent Trap, I know the perils of camping and I want no part of it: Bugs everywhere, no air conditioning, no wifi, and no TV what’s the point?

Back to this concept of “camping,” there is no way I would trust these things to hold up. I don’t necessarily have a fear of heights, but if there’s a fear of me falling 1,300 feet to my death if I trip on a shoe or roll off my bed the wrong way then I want no part in this. I love how they throw in at the end that they provide you with “gourmet food.” I mean we’re 1,300 feet suspended in the air, you better be serving me breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I guess there’s the crowd that thinks it’s a bucket list item to have sex in one of these, but rocking around in a small camping lodge held up by some wood doesn’t seem like the brightest of ideas.

All of this for a view? I just googled the view and it looks nice.

That’s good enough for me, I don’t need to go put my life in jeopardy for a nice view and an Instagram that will maybe crack 100 likes. If your wife or girlfriend is the one pushing you guys to go to one of these, then you simply find a new one. End of story.

Twitter: @ehubbs13