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Phil Kessel: Great Hockey Player, Better Teammate

NHL: MAY 15 Eastern Conference Final Game 2 - Senators at Penguins

The Penguins assassinated the Senators yesterday 7-0 and I really don’t want to talk about it. Nothing makes me want to choke and die on my own vomit quite like the idea of the Penguins being just 5 wins away from repeating as back-to-back Stanley Cup champs. It’s horrific. With that being said, Phil Kessel deserves a little love after being the ultimate team-first guy yesterday before Game 5.

Nick Bonino is probably driving some shitty foreign car because he hates America, and low and behold, that shit broke down on him on the way to PPG. The Penguins are already playing without Hornqvist, Scheary and Letang due to injury. You think they can afford to lose Nick Bonino because he’s been driving around with his “Check Engine” light on for the last month and a half? Shit no. They’ve already plugged guys like Josh Archibald and Carter Rowney into the lineup. Nobody has ever heard of those guys in their entire life and that’s who the Penguins are resigned to playing this series. I don’t even want to know who they’d have to call up for Nick Bonino. But Phil the Thrill Kessel, being the team-first guy that he is, hopped in his car…

oscar-mayer-mobile

… had Bonino drop him a pin and then went to pick his ass up on the side of the road. Do you think that LeBron James goes to pick up Kyrie on the side of the road right before a playoff game? Do you think he helps out Kevin Love if he’s dealing with some car trouble? You think he even answers the phone for JR? No to all of the above. That’s just the way the NBA works. There’s no sense of camaraderie on those locker rooms. But hockey players? Well you become a brotherhood. That’s your family. Nick Bonino and Phil Kessel are weird, ugly brothers who probably get way too uncomfortably drunk together at family gatherings. And if Bonino’s car is going to break down on the side of the road, Philly Kess is gonna be there to pick him up. And that’s a guarantee.

Bonino ended up with 2 assists. Kessel had 1 and 1. Not that they needed the extra points but still.

@BarstoolJordie