Kissing Rattlesnakes Is A Bad Idea Because It Will Most Likely Land You In Critical Condition

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(Source) A Florida man who tried to kiss a rattlesnake, only for it to snub his advances and bite him, is recovering in hospital. The snake was found by Charles Goff, a resident of Putnam County, in the north-east of the state, on Monday. A day later, a neighbour, named by a local CBS channel as Ron Reinold, started playing with the snake and made his ill-judged move. Mr Reinold was airlifted to hospital and is now recovering. “One boy said, ‘I’m going to kiss it in the mouth,’ and the snake bit him in the face,” Mr Goff told Action News Jax. “Ron was just acting silly, you know? I guess he said he could kiss the devil and get away with it, but evidently he didn’t.” First Coast News said the victim was conscious but had initially been in a critical condition. The snake is believed to have escaped after its ordeal. It is still not clear why Mr Reinold tried to kiss the rattlesnake.

I’m not going to sit here and say I’ve made out with a snake because I haven’t. I’ve somehow found a way to avoid their advances and their sexiness as they slither around this earth. It’s been difficult, but I’ve kept it in my pants when it comes to snake interactions.

Nonetheless, I get where this kid was coming from. I think everyone’s had that, “We can just hook up and that’ll be that” aka “I can kiss the devil and get away with it” moment. You know some hot girl and you’ve heard the stories that she’s a little crazy or that hooking up will lead to more problems that will be worth it, but those don’t matter. You convince yourself that you can get in and get out and that will be the end of it. Snake or woman, it doesn’t matter, if you want to kiss it then you’re gonna justify it in your mind.

Well, this is how it ends 10 times out of 10: horribly. You were wrong and you were a fool to think that there’d be a little hooking up and then you’d continue on with your life completely unbothered. No, no, no my friend, you fucked up. You’re gonna get bit on the face and dragged into some kind of lover’s hell that you may never escape from. Don’t ever think that you can kiss the devil and get away with it. You absolutely cannot.