Trump Aides Put The Word "Trump" In Every Paragraph In Memos So He'll Keep Reading

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Ahhh now here’s a story I can relate to. This here is what we Barstool employees call the Portnoy. Basically the awareness that nothing you do or say or write will ever wind up on Dave’s radar unless it’s about him. Want to say something off-color, something Dave may get upset about? Don’t mention Portnoy and you’ll be fine. Don’t mention him or make it about him or include him in any way and he’ll never listen to it. You’re golden. Conversely, if you’re looking for some publicity just make sure Portnoy is mentioned and he won’t miss it. This blog right here will probably be the first Riggsy blog he’s ever read.

Shoutout to the Trump aides for contriving creative ways to get Donnie to read. Never easy. Like dealing with a class of preschoolers, when the teacher dots the “i” with a butterfly or something to get you all giddy and actually read it. It’s genius.

Also, have to comment on this line.

He likes single-page memos and visual aids like maps, charts, graphs and photos.

Is this supposed to be some sort of knock on DJT or something? Ha! Who doesn’t prefer maps and photos to boring ass words? Picture’s worth a billion words folks. Point Donnie. Mr. Relatable.