Advertisement

Big Ups To Instagram For Inventing Face Filters

Nobody in the world has a better job than the people at Instagram. These mother fuckers never have to do ANY work. It’s incredible. They do absolutely nothing all day and night. They just wait for some idiots to invent the next big thing and then they swoop in a few months later to steal the invention. It’s quite possibly the best business model in all of the land. Because it will never cease to work. As long as people keep trying to one-up Instagram, they’ll always have something new to steal. Stories, face-filters, whatever. You invent something that people like? Instagram is right there to steal it within 180 days.

And they’re so brazen about it because they know you’ll never delete the app. They can do whatever they want and you’re still going to spend the majority of your day on Instagram. When you wake up, during your commute to work, while you’re shitting at work, on your commute home from work, while you’re eating dinner and don’t want to have any real human-to-human interactions with anybody, before you go to sleep, when you wake up in the middle of the night because you’re constantly thinking about all your insecurities and what a failure you’ve turned out to be. During all that time, you’re on Instagram because where else are you going to be able to check out pictures of Alexis Ren’s tits while eating brunch like this?

We should all aspire to be like Instagram in our lives. Because when you think about it, all we’re really trying to do here is lie and cheat and steal our way through life. Nobody wants to put in actual work. That shit is for suckers. But if you can just sit back on your ass and benefit off of other peoples’ hard work? That’s what America is all about. God bless America. God bless the Troops. And God bless Instagram.

@BarstoolJordie