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Does This Look Like The Face Of A Guy Who Threatened To Shoot His Dick Off After His Wife Caught Him Watching Porn?

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ELKHORN—A former East Troy man argued with his wife about sex, threatened to shoot off his own penis, went into another room and fired four shots, according to a criminal complaint. “If I’m not using it, I might as well shoot it off,” Robert C. Ahorner, 57, formerly of N7270 Highway 120, East Troy, told his wife during the argument, according to the complaint filed in Walworth County Court. On May 3, Walworth County sheriff’s deputies responded to the East Troy home and found what looked like four bullet holes in the floor of the master bathroom, according to the complaint. Ahorner admitted to drinking a 12-pack of beer the day of the incident. He said he started drinking about noon, according to the complaint.  The wife told deputies she argued with Ahorner about 5 p.m. because he was looking at porn on the internet. Ahorner grabbed his then-unloaded 9mm semi-automatic pistol, pointed it at his penis and pulled the trigger, according to the complaint.

Just chill out man. Don’t shoot your dick off. You need that thing. Especially now that his wife is pissed at him. This is when you need jerking off the most. Because when all is lost and nothing is going your way, you can always jerk off. Always always alway. You can lose your job and your house and your wife and your kids but jerking off is always there for you like a good friend. JJO as my coworker Kevin Francis Clancy would say. They can never take jerking off away from you. That is of course as long as you don’t put a 9MM pistol to your dick and blow it to smithereens. Then you have nothing left. Threaten to shoot yourself in the leg or something. Hell, I’d put a bullet in my brain before I’d put a bullet in my dick. At least if you shoot yourself in the head, it’s over over. Shooting yourself in the dick means you’re still alive but now don’t have the most important part of you. So like I said, just chill out man. JJO and everything will be just fine.