Advertisement

I'm All In On Trump's Theory That Exercise Is Actually Bad Because It Drains The Body's "Finite" Energy Resources

Screen Shot 2017-05-15 at 10.51.09 AM

So obviously this is the latest “Trump is crazy” anecdote that is making it’s way around twitter. Did you hear that Trump also may have ties to Russia? Oh you didn’t, well it’s literally every other tweet now on twitter, that and a map of the election we had SEVEN months ago trying to convince everyone that Hillary somehow won even though she didn’t. Any way, you can call this crazy or antiquated but I am all in on the finite energy source theory. Ever do a few push ups then try to do a few more push ups a few minutes later? Way harder right? Well that’s because you’ve just zapped your energy source and that shit is never coming back. It’s like playing TMNT without any pizzas to replenish your life bar. Or jerking off too quickly after you’ve just finished jerking off. Like fossil fuels or the O-Zone layer. Once you use it, you lose it. So keep working out, suckers. Keep tiring your battery out early in life. Guys like me and Trump will be sitting back saving our core energy by not going to the gym and never breaking a sweat. I’m actually shocked no one has vocalized this theory before, it makes perfect sense. The more you use something the weaker it becomes. Shoes, cars, phones, batteries, human bodies. Rest never felt so good.

Sincerely,

Formerly Lib Cat now RepubliCat