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Sweet Baby Jesus, Ben Simmons Was A MASSIVE Infant

Good. God. No offense to our resident Big Baby Trent, but I think we’ve found a new champion for the largest infant known to man. At one point, Ben Simmons was the human version of Clifford The Big Red Dog. I guess it’s not that big of a surprise the future 6’10 beast of life came into this world large and in charge. He does descend from some big mamma jamma’s. Ben Simmons father, Dave, stood at 6’9 as a professional basketball player Down Under. And his mother Julie was not buckling while holding that manchild, so you can tell she’s got some strong, possibly ox, genes in her. So Happy Mother’s Day, Julie. You deserve it, and then some, solely for carrying around and plopping out 50lbs of eventual Hall Of Fame meat and living to tell the tale. #iwasabigassbaby, indeed.

Also, Ben’s also been grammin’ himself not dead and dunking. I like.

Philadelphia’s Yearly Championship Of Fun And Happiness aka The NBA Draft Lottery commences tomorrow night. More on that later, as we cue it up now.