Does This Look Like The Face Of A Man That Was Arrested For "Engaging In Oral Sex" At McDonald's?


TSG- Meet Conrad Jablecki. The 30-year-old Maryland man has been charged with indecent exposure and open lewdness after he engaged in oral sex with a woman in the dining room of a Pennsylvania McDonald’s, cops report. According to investigators, Jablecki and a woman–who has yet to be apprehended–trysted publicly on a Thursday afternoon in March. A McDonald’s worker spotted the duo’s illicit activity and chased them from the restaurant in York.

I’m sure Conrad Jablecki is going to be taking a lot of heat for this, but I’m not here to judge. In fact I’m here to say that it’s really not the worst move in the world. Beach body season is approaching QUICKLY. When you are at Mickey D’s, it is damn near impossible to avoid treating yourself to a little snack off the Dollar Menu to go along with your meal. Maybe even a hot fudge sundae after you are done. But you know how you avoid those extra calories while also scoring some brownie points with the woman? Go down on her at the Golden Arches. Boom, two birds, one tongue.

If we are being honest, pulling a Jablecki sounds exactly like something you would say about a guy that got caught giving a girl head at a McDonald’s. And everything about that picture says “Fuck bitches (with your tongue at a fast food joint), get money!”

P.S. I read the “Meet Conrad Jablecki” line from the story in the narrator’s voice from Guilty Conscience. I would love to hear Dr. Dre trying to talk our boy Conrad out of deep sea diving on his chick in a rap.