I Can't Decide If I Want Military Parades Or Not

Infantry Parade

Some big news floating around this week on Russia putting on a giant military parade for their “Victory Day” which commemorates the anniversary of the Soviet Union defeating Nazi Germany in World War II. From a purely objective point of view, it’s awesome. The backdrop of classic Russian architecture with a modern military marching through just does it for me.










Military parades are nothing new. Victorious generals and commanders have been doing this for quite literally thousands of years. Look up Caesar’s triumphs following victory in the Roman civil wars: parades, massive hunts with hundreds of lions, entire prisoner armies fighting to the death, captured queens marched (chained) through the streets, everybody sucking Julius’ D for destroying the republic and becoming the dictator (and also rioting, to which he responded to by having people publicly “sacrificed”). Shit was WILD. Military parades are nothing new.

North Korea did it just last month.


Fake missiles and all.


I think these are sweet. What’s not to like? We all support the troops and what better reason to get drunk and have a parade than to celebrate our unmatched armed forces? It’d send chills down my spine watching Uncle Sam march his best stuff through Washington DC.

But on the other hand, I think it’s sort of an insecure move, right? You need to do this to convince yourself and your people and the rest of the world that you’re tough. When you’re the top dog, seems petty to parade your stuff out. To send pictures across the globe of your militaristic might. When you’re numero uno, when your military is basically bigger and stronger and better than everyone else’s combined, isn’t it unnecessary to parade it around?

I kinda want American military parades, but I also kinda love that we just unceremoniously go about our business while everyone else feels the need to puff their chests.