Mountain Biking In The Woods Seems Like A Fun Time Until The Man-Eating Bear Gets Hot On Your Trail

Yup. When a the 1,000-lb beast comes dangerously close to ripping your face off and eating your intestines, the logical thing to do is stop and evaluate the situation. Just ask Grizzly Man’s severed head how that worked out. You’re on bikes, gentlemen. Boogey the FUCK out of there like Lance Armstrong in his juiced up prime. There’s no reason to wait around to reenact the man-bear rape scene from The Revenent. Leo owns those rights, anyways.