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Eating Your Life Savings To Get Back At Your Cheating Husband Is So Spiteful I Think I Respect It

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BBC - Sandra Milena Almeida wolfed down £7,000 ($9,000) in cash after finding out her husband had been unfaithful.

The 30-year-old’s actions were only discovered after she was taken to hospital suffering abdominal pains.

Doctors then found bundles of notes inside her stomach.

Mrs Almeida apparently hid the cash after finding out about her husband’s infidelity.

She took the extreme steps of eating the $100 bills after he discovered the hiding place and demanded half of it.

Relatives and doctors only discovered she’d eaten them after carrying out tests.

Director of Surgery at the University Hospital of Santander, Juan Paulo Serrano, told reporters: “57 $100 bills were found and extracted by the orifice opened in the stomach.

“Some extra rolls (of money) were found in the intestine, which advanced to the colon.”

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So let’s get this straight- A woman found out her husband was cheating on her. She then panicked and ate all of it, because he demanded half. So to spite him, instead of giving him the half he for whatever reason demanded, she ate all of her money. All of it. I don’t know if this is hall of fame smart, hall of fame stupid, or hall of fame spiteful. I think it’s a combination of all three.

Smart- If you eat your money, nobody can take it from you. Your asshole is a great hiding spot, as proven by generations of  porn stars and drug smugglers alike. You get your money into your lower intestine, shit it out, and nobody is ever going to be demanding money from you ever again.

Idiocy- Bitch, it’s your money! What the fuck are you thinking??? Her husband cheated on her, and then wanted half? Grow some balls, lady. Hit him over the head with a frying pan. Or, best yet, fucking spend the money on something. What does eating it do? It accomplishes nothing. It’s literally the worst possible idea.

Spite- There is nothing quite like doing something so spiteful that it makes national news. We all have done something super spiteful that it just feels so good, even if you know it will cost you in the long run. And this woman might be in the Spite Hall Of Fame. She sacrificed every penny of her name just to keep it away from him. That’s a level of spite that can’t be taught, it’s born inside of you. You have to respect the hell out of that.

The ol’ trifecta. I want to say it’s mainly stupid, a lot of spite, and not a lot of smart. But hey, looks like they dug the money out of her, washed it off, and now she’s not worse for the wear. (Besides the whole fucked up intestines/colon thing, but whatever.)