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Florida Woman Stabs Her Boyfriend Because He Broke Wind In Her Face

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MMOKALEE, FL (KCTV) –
A 37-year-old Florida woman allegedly stabbed her boyfriend with an 8-inch-long kitchen knife after he farted in her face during an argument.

Deborah Ann Burns, 37, was arrested last week for aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.

And perhaps not surprisingly, deputies say alcohol helped fuel the argument.

The Immokalee woman told Collier County detectives that she stabbed her boyfriend of six years after an argument broke out while the two were watching a nightly television program.

Burns’ boyfriend told deputies that they began arguing over money. They both got up and went into the kitchen.

That was when Burns said her boyfriend walked by and farted in her face, according to an arrest report.

According to the report, Burns confronted him about the fart and he became agitated, ordering her to shut up.

That’s when deputies say the argument escalated and became physical between Burns and the 53-year-old boyfriend, Willie Butler. He allegedly chased her through the kitchen and threw a knife at her, which missed, according to the arrest report.

When authorities responded to a report of a possible stabbing, deputies found Burns’ boyfriend standing front of his mailbox. He had cuts to his abdomen and left forearm.

While deputies were talking to him, they could smell a strong odor of alcohol from him.

I wonder what they were watching. Probably Jeopardy. One minute you’re having a good time and spitting out answers and the next minute an argument ensues. Of course you phrased the answer in the form of a question. You’ve been playing the game for years. Like you’re just gonna forget the rules after all this time? No way.

You’ve been kicking back a few full-bodied reds and are still upset about the Potent Potables categories. You didn’t just say, “Mojitos.” You said, “what are mojitos.” You know it. He knows.

My god. That noise. Is that? No. It can’t be… My goodness. That was a fart.

You look over and see your significant other wafting wind in your direction. The disrespect is as palpable as last night’s chili. You gotta stab him with an 8-inch blade or this disrespect will linger like bad flatulence on a casual spring night in a high-humidity environment. Not good!

No jury will convict. At least no jury that is filled with Jeopardy fans.

You either gotta stab someone or play along. That’s the only two options.