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The Australian Military Is Trying To Poop Shame/Extort The United States Marine Corps

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Here’s the full article if you care about that type of thing. I dont. I read all that I needed to know.

Australia is being pussies about how much Marines poop and eat. I’ve seen it a thousand times. “Why do you guys eat so fast? Why do you guys eat so much? How can you poop that much?”

Better question, why are you such a little poop bitch, Australia? Don’t come out here trying to game us into giving you more money because you lacked the mental foresight to build American-ready, American-made pipes. Not our fault that your criminal continent can’t handle American crap.

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You ever had an MRE? Eat a few MREs in the field and then tell me that you’re gonna poop smaller because the fragile Australian pipes can’t handle a few thousand MRE peanut butter and jalapeno cheese enhanced freedom morning glories.

Instead of bitching to the failing New York Times, I’d suggest you grabbing a few 55-gallon drums, cutting them bad boys in half, filling them with diesel fuel and burning it. Improvise, adapt, and overcome your horrible pipes.