Ah Yes. A Tale As Old As Time. Home Team Fans Leaving The Stadium Before Shit Starts To Get Good


Empty net for Pittsburgh? More like Empty Seats!!! Am I right????

Down 2-0. Goalie pulled. Just about 3 minutes left in the game. Midas whale get outta here and beat the traffic so we can get home in time to catch the 11 o’ clock news.

People have been packing stadiums to watch sports since the days of gladiators and jousting and all that shit. I’m not good with history but that’s what? At least 600 years? When will they ever learn to just stay until the end. You’d think we’ve seen enough Heat fans get put on blast for this exact thing before that it would deter the human race from ever leaving games early again. But here we are. May 2, in the year of our lord 2017. And the fair weathered Pittsburgh Penguin fans missed one of the best regulation comebacks you’ll see these playoffs.

Look at how many empty seats there are in that lower bowl. Bet some folks left the game so early that they made it home in time to watch this play happen on TV. Fraudulent ass fan base. Luckily for those bozos, the Caps won in overtime so the comeback was all for nothing. But all I’m saying is that I can guarantee you this would never happen in Philly. Mainly because we don’t pull off miraculous comebacks like this but still. You can say we’re shitty people, but you can never say we’re shitty fans. You’ll take a tire iron to the back of the knee cap if anybody sees you trying to leave a game early. And if there does ever come a point in time where this scenario plays out in the city of Philadelphia, well then it is my promise to you that I will let Blake Lively fuck me. That’s how certain I am that it would never happen. That I would stoop so low as to allowing Blake Lively to have sexual relations with me.