Fun Fact: If It Weren't For Lacrosse, Garett Bolles Would Have Never Been Drafted To The NFL
First and foremost, congrats on the sex. Garett Bolles. Former “lost kid”. Current NFL player. Confirmed haver of sex. And number 2 or 3 or whatever the fuck we’re on, the only reason why Garett Bolles got drafted in the first place last night was because of lacrosse.
Jim Brown. Chris Hogan. Garett Bolles. The list of former lacrosse players who have gone on to play pro football continues to grow. Have you ever heard a story about some kid’s high school football coach taking him in and helping him straighten out his life so he can go on to play professional lacrosse? No, you haven’t. Because that’s just not the nature of football. But lacrosse is the Creator’s Game. It’s all about giving back. While you slap dicks think it’s just a game for Tanner and Tristen to play in order to kill some time in the spring before heading to the Hamptons for the summer, you’re dead wrong. Well, sometimes you’re right. But you’re also wrong. It’s about Garett Bolles’ coach doing the right thing and changing his life forever. Now he’s in the NFL. So suck on that, lax haters. Suck on it long and hard.
P.S. – Refuse to believe this beautiful mind is human.
P.P.S. – Extremely proud of my Philly brethren for their “boo” game last night. Really made all of us proud. Whoever was running the account for this tweet just hates us cause they ain’ts us.