Man Runs Into Burning Building In Order To Rescue His... Two Cans Of Beer

(KELO) — Police say a 56-year-old man ran into a burning building twice, despite orders from police and firefighters for him to stop. Police and firefighters arrived at an apartment building fire along Spring Avenue just after 12:30 p.m. Sunday. Two people were treated for smoke inhalation, a third was taken to a local hospital. With crews at the scene, Public Information Officer Sam Clemens said that Michael Casteel ignored a police officer when he ran back into the building. According to police, he came back out and went back into the building. While inside, firefighters repeatedly told Casteel to leave. When he came back out again, police said that he was carrying two cans of Bud Ice beer. Casteel’s blood alcohol content was 0.082 and was arrested for obstructing firefighters and violating the 24/7 sobriety program.

Ordinarily I’d say this is a silly move. You can buy beer anywhere, you know? Saving something that’s easily obtained is… well, it’s just foolish. I wouldn’t go into a burning building for a bag of chips and I can get those at the same place I can grab some beers, so why would I risk losing my life or even worse, keeping my life while sustaining horrific injuries, in order to get those beers? Glad you asked and I’ll tell you why.

Because they were Bud Ice beers. Michael Casteel was an idiot until I got to the part where he emerged from the flames carrying his Bud Ices like Benjamin Martin coming out of his house with his famous tomahawk and a million other guns. I didn’t even know Bud Ice was still a thing. That’s like running into a house to save an All Sport or an Ecto Cooloer: it’s not just a beverage, it’s a way of life.

If you’re not willing to risk it all for a way of life then what are you even doing here?

PS – Maybe I’m a superhero but this would never happen to me because I’m king of snapping out of drunkness when a serious situation occurs. Meet someone at noon on a Saturday who might look down upon me being wasted? Bam, I’m sober as a judge. Get in a fight with a girlfriend? Boom, sup sobriety. House catches fire when there are still two beers in there? Second I saw a flame I had adrenaline like a mom whose kid is under a schoolbus and my blood alcohol balanced itself out, I’ll walk to the store and get some new ones instead.