These Stanley Cup Playoffs Are All About Winning Your Breakup
I guess the 2017 Stanley Cup Playoffs are being directed by Woody Allen because it’s playing out like quite the RomCom. If you can’t appreciate that reference then please hit that [X] at the top left or right corner of your screen.
Anyway, there have been quite a few breakups in the NHL over the past couple of years. Some have been amicable splits. Others have been pretty ugly. Regardless, the past couple of weeks have been all about revenge and winning the breakup. For starters, you had PK Subban getting traded from Montreal to Nashville last June. People who like to act like they know more than they actually do came flying in to say how the trade was actually a win for the Canadiens. While all of Hockey Twitter is in love with Subban and for justified reasons, these people came out of the woodwork to talk about how Shea Weber makes the Habs a more complete team. And how Weber is less of a liability than Subban both on the ice and off. And now he we are. April 23, 2017. The Nashville Predators have swept the Chicago Blackhawk in the 1st round of the playoffs and the Montreal Canadiens just got bounced by the Rangers. Obviously both of these series didn’t just come down to Subban and Weber. But it’s like I said way back in June. The Montreal Canadiens used PK Subban as a scapegoat for their shortcomings. They could always throw the blame on him when they failed. Without Subban there to take the blame, next on deck was to fire Michel Therrien and after Therrien was fired, all that’s left is for Pacioretty to take the blame. Coincidentally, he had just 1 point all series long against the Rangers. Pacioretty. The guy who seemingly forced the locker room against Subban last season, had just 1 point when his team needed him the most. What a jackass.
Next on deck we have Mike Yeo who looks extremely thrilled to advance to the 2nd round right here. The man has just one facial expression in his repertoire so you have to believe me that this is pure jubilation in his face. Anyway, Mike Yeo was let go by the Minnesota Wild last year in the middle of the season. He was picked up by the Blues this offseason under the assumption that he would take over for Hitchcock next year as the Blues’ head coach. But that shit got sped up a bit when the Blues fired Hitch earlier this season making Yeo the head coach now. And what does he go out and do? Leads his new team to knock his former team out of the playoffs in his old barn. It’s as if the Minnesota Wild thought that bringing in a head coach who is known for being a perennial loser in the playoffs was actually going to work out for them. But that bumbling idiot Bruce Boudreau couldn’t get the job done and Mike Yeo had revenge sex all over his grave.
Similar situation with Todd McLellan and his breakup with the San Jose Sharks. The Sharks were able to shut everybody up a little last year when they made it to the Stanley Cup Final. But they are always underachievers when it comes to the playoffs. And unfortunately for Todd McLellan, he became an innocent casualty to the team’s postseason incompetence a couple of seasons ago. I believe it was the late great philosopher Flava Flav who once said, “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink”. That was McLellan’s problem in San Jose. Anyway, fast forward a bit and McLellan lands the gig of a lifetime to become Connor McDavid’s coach in Edmonton. The Oilers advance to the Stanley Cup Playoffs for the first time in about 500 years this year and who do they get in the 1st round? The Sharks. So Todd McLellan digs deep into his closet. Pulls out the sluttiest outfit he can find so he can show San Jose just what they’ve been missing these past two seasons. Struts his ass all up and down the Shark Tank and the Oilers knockout the defending Western Conference champions 6 games into the 1st round.
So yeah. Be careful about who you break up with this year. Because if the NHL is any indication, it will come back to bite you in the ass and that person will come back to not only haunt your dreams, but shit down your throat in the process.