Canadian Goose Meagerly Meanders For Weeks With An Arrow In Her Neck

An injured Canada goose has been wandering around an Upstate NY town like it doesn’t have a giant arrow lodged in its neck for about a month.

Members of the SPCA in Erie County and the Department of Environmental Conservation have been on a literal wild goose chase following sightings of the female goose in Amherst, near Buffalo, WIVB-TV reported.

Every time searchers follow up on a report of the goose, it gets away, and that’s partly because the goose is still able to walk and fly as though it is completely uninjured.

Officials have not stated how the arrow got there.

Poor Goose! This little lady goose was most likely in the late stages of migrating her downed feathered ass back to Canada when in a rogue hunter put one arrow right through her neck. Hate to see it.

Side note: not sure how they know she’s a female goose. Did they lift her feathers in order to reveal a goose vagina? Good gracious, I hope not. That’s extremely rude.

Can you imagine the effort it takes to migrate? If I was a bird, no chance I would migrate. Coming home only to be shot through your thin ass neck? No way. Migrating is for the birds.

I’d watch Billy and Randy, my goose friends, pack up their families and head south. Not me. My family would sit tight and weather the weather. After all, this winter was relatively mild and zika was still a concern in the south at the onset of spring. Scientists aren’t sure about the effects of zika on geese so I wouldn’t want to risk it; at least that’s what I’d tell my goose wife. She’d believe me, too. Fucking idiot.

Anyway, although geese are not known for their sunny disposition, I don’t mind these birds. Sure, their poop can be an annoyance when you have to clean it off your driveway, but far be it from me to disparage an entire fowl species for their inability to form a solid stool sample. Glass houses and such. Get well soon, goose. We’ll be sending you thoughts and prayers.