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Matt Calvert. Just Chill Out, Man

“If you can’t beat ‘em, then beat ‘em up” – Helen Keller (1993)

Buddy. I know how you feel. I get what’s going through your brain here. The Columbus Blue Jackets had the best regular season in team history and they got F’d in the A by this new playoff format. Instead of getting a layup series against a team like Ottawa, they are forced to play the Pittsburgh Penguins in the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. And with 2 games in, they are 2 games away from being eliminated. Pittsburgh won game 1 on Wednesday and took game 2 tonight 4-1. So Matt Calvert is A) just trying to spark the boys to pick it the fuck up and show a little fight in game 3 and B) just taking out some frustration on a highly hatable Pittsburgh Penguin team.

Now a couple things here real quick because people are already starting to get just a little too outraged about this incident.


As you can see, Calvert clearly snaps his stick across Kuhnackl’s shoulder. Kuhnackl then, being the little bitch that he is, decides to really sell this one. Makes it look like he just ate a crosscheck to the jaw. Chicken shit if I’ve ever seen it. A crosscheck to the shoulder doesn’t feel great but it’s hardly as bad as Kuhnackl makes it look. Secondly, I’m gonna put a heavy dose of blame here on weak Bauer products. You think a Sherwood from the 90s snaps like a twig like that? Shit no. But Bauer makes their sticks out of balsa wood and this is the result. So maybe we should look into banning Bauer sticks before we start thinking about suspending Matt Calvert.

Either way… just chill out, man. Maybe drop the gloves and fight like a normal grown man.