RIP To This Dude Getting Gobbled UP By The Friend Zone In A Hot Female Friend's Birthday Facebook Post

Not even trying to do some sneaky podcast plug here but last night on Swipe Drunk Love we did an episode on the friend zone, saved some dude’s lives, learned about a Barstool employee friend zoning big titted chicks on Twitter, lots going on. And the second we came out of the show some dude sent this screenshot from Facebook to us of this poor soul who is currently being EATEN up by the friend zone. And the thing is that the post is such CLASSIC girl. FIVE FUCKING MONTHS of “friendship” and she’s got all these memories that really aren’t memories because she’s only fucking known the dude five months. So it’s all this forced shit that really weren’t noteworthy events like “Lol that time we got vegan food! that one time you sang along to New Found Glory when we were in a car! Classic us!” And it’s all omg so random! So forced, so girl, so brutal.

But the worst part in there, what jumped off the page to me: the “impulsive ADD conversation starter” line. You just know that means she’s prattling on about the dumbest shit, probably talking about dudes or boring things and he’s there like “yeah uh huh yeah that’s awesome uh huh oh yeah totally” while thinking about how in love with her he is or how badly he wants to put any appendage of his in any orifice of hers. Just getting his ear chatted off time and again in the hopes of something that’ll never pass because she’s publicly castrating him while thinking it’s a showing of BFF 4 evaaa~~ love. And they look like grown ass people too, not some naive 20 year old kids. Just sickening to see and empathize with no matter what he did to get there, sorry Jonboy.

And if Jon or anyone out there want tips on how to dig out of the friend zone well do I have the podcast episode for you: