Wisconsin Woman's Car Won't Start So She Puts A Bunch Of Charcoal In The Engine Block And Surprise, FIRE!

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(Source) Hoods up and jumper cables out. It’s been a common sight at UW-Green Bay the past few days. “We tried jumping it yesterday, wouldn’t start, so then we took the battery out, took it home to warm up,” said Jen Reinke of her boyfriend’s car. Reinke wishes she had known the campus’ public safety department provides free jump start services. The department has helped bring life to about 30 car batteries in the past two days. “And ironically, we’re at the lowest point of our academic year right now, because most of the students are home for break,” said Lt. Jeff Gross, UW-Green Bay Public Safety. An incident in Northern Wisconsin provided an example of what to do and what not to do trying to warm up your vehicle. Lac du Flambeau Tribal Police say a woman took her battery out of her van and brought it inside to warm up. Safety officials say that is smart, but what she did next they say is a big no-no. Authorities say the woman took a mound of hot coals and shoved it under her vehicle’s engine chamber hoping to warm it up. The result was a fire causing about $1,000 in damage. “That is not something that should be done,” said Lt. Nick Craig with the Green Bay Metro Fire Department. Craig says decades ago drivers could use that coal trick.  But cars are now made with plastic parts, so things can melt and start on fire.

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I love the line of thinking this woman went through. Car won’t start, quick think fast. Ok, step one, take the battery out and warm it up*. Which is essentially the same thing as taking the video game cartridge out and blowing on it. Everyone knows warm battery’s start better. Just like blowing on Mario Kart enough times will 100% make it work. It’s Science.  Ok, step 2, Shit, warm battery didn’t work, k, what else needs to be warm? OOoooh I know, the engine chamber. But how in the world will we ever get an engine chamber warm? Hmm, what would a caveman do, you know our un-evolved retarded ancestors. FIRE! That’s it, I’ll start a fire in the engine then the car will start because everything will be so hot and working so well. Genius!
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Hey wait a second….
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And that is how you go from car won’t start, to 2007 Dodge Caravan Barbeque. Simple as could be. MacGyver would be proud.
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*I feel like she put her battery in the oven, I don’t know why, just seems like a real savvy move that only old vets make.