I'm Always Shocked To See How Passionate People Are About Their Sports Commentators

Little breaking news for everyone right here: Tony Romo is retiring from the NFL and will be joining CBS to broadcast football and golf with Jim Nantz. I’ve only just heard but I wanted to make sure you guys heard immediately.

Now, with this revelation we also learn that Phil Simms has been demoted/fired/murdered/something, his fate is unknown. All that’s for sure is he will no longer be on CBS’s top broadcast team, and that’s got people feeling, how do you say, some type of way. To put it simply, they’re dancing in the streets over at www.twitter.com. Dancing on ol’ Phil’s grave and I don’t think they even feel bad about it.

This always stuns me, when people lose their minds over commentators. They love them and hate them like the commentators are their football team. Me? I don’t do that. There are some exceptions, and I do have strong opinions about hometown callers, but when it comes to national guys they’re all “fine” to me. No one has me taking off my pants and no one has me cursing at the TV. They’re national guys, they’re supposed to be boring and unbiased and vanilla. Everyone lives to the 10 seconds a game when someone slips up, or says something not exactly well-thought, during their 3+ hours of talking on live television. But to me it’s almost all background noise and I’m just watching the game. Hell, I can’t even tell the difference between some of the CBS dudes as they’re exclusively middle aged white dudes speaking in a monotone voice. How are you so passionate about that?

Joe Buck gets CRUSHED. McCarver used to get CRUSHED. Phil Simms? You guessed it, crushed. Same for Troy Aikman. People love to bash on Collinsworth too. You get that mob mentality during a game and people start fucking laying into whoever is in the booth. Perhaps I’m just too focused on the game if it’s the Patriots, or too focused on my phone if it’s anyone else, or maybe I just don’t care because they’re always saying nice things about how good my teams are, but I can’t lose my mind for any national guy.

Phil Simms or Tony Romo? It matters not to me.