Being A Baseball Fan Is Like Being Pregnant

My wife is pregnant now. Number 2. 2 in two years. I’ve been immersed in that world for a while now. And all I ever hear about – all us men ever hear about – is how we dont have to carry children and how we could never even comprehend how hard it is and how we cant relate and blah blah. Well guess what ladies? My esteemed colleague dropped a truth bomb on the world that puts an end to your precious little argument pretty damn quick,

Being a baseball fan is like being pregnant. Its a commitment that takes over your mind, body, and soul for like 8 months. It makes us moody and emotional. We’re gonna be overly dramatic and depressed about things that you girls couldnt possibly understand.The mood swings from the highs to the lows will be absolutely impossible for you to deal with. We’re gonna gain weight from just sitting on the couch completely immobile for hours and hours on end. We’ll be inconsolable when upset and there will be times we dont even want to see your face. And theres nothing you can do except ride it out and wait till its over.

So I dont wanna hear it anymore. I’m sick of you playing the pregnancy card. I’ve been pregnant every summer since like 1992. Brutal, 100 loss pregnancies. Tragic 2007 collapse pregnancies. Guys have been doing this shit for YEARS. You dont hear us complaining, do you? Man up, girls. Waaaah I carry your child until its fully developed and can come into the world and brighten your life with joy and purpose waaaaah. Try watching baseball for me one season, then talk.