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Look At Digiorno Bascially Begging Me For An Endorsement Because I'm A Big Deal Now

 

So this is my life now.  This is fame.  The insatiable drug that has killed so many of the super duper famous people that came before me is now coming to get me.  I can feel it’s cold breath on the back of my neck wherever I go.  Chris Farley, John Belushi, Kurt Cobain, Heath Ledger, a few others.  None of them could escape the hellacious grip that led to their eventual downfall.  And now it’s coming for Big Daddy Trent (that’s right, I talk in the third person now and use my nickname. That’s how fame works).  I totally get what happened to them now.  Fame changes a person.  Last night I deleted all of the numbers in my phone because those people don’t know me anymore.  I’m like an alien to them.  My own mother won’t recognize me the next time she sees me.  What do they know about champagne flutes, easy women and frozen pizza companies doing everything short of getting on their hands and knees and begging me to endorse their product?  Nothing, that’s what they know about it.  This life is addicting.  And sure, only one of those three things has happened so far but we’re still in the early stages of me becoming a complete and total super star who doesn’t recognize the face he sees in the mirror every morning and who eventually dies from diabetes when frozen pizza companies won’t stop send me free pizzas.  This life, man.