Belichick Big Times the NFL by Blowing Off the Coaches' Breakfast


PHOENIXPatriots coach Bill Belichick will skip his annual breakfast with the media this week at the NFL owners meetings. …

Belichick last skipped the breakfast in 2011, when he actually peeked his head into the room and kept walking. He won’t attend tomorrow due to a “scouting conflict,” though Belichick will be present at the Biltmore for at least a portion of the meetings. It’s unclear where Belichick will be scouting, but Florida State, Florida and Texas headline tomorrow’s slate of pro days. The NFL will not fine Belichick for skipping the breakfast, as it’s not mandatory for coaches to show up. …

In 2015, he responded with a “We’ll see” or “I don’t know” 46 times over 96 questions. Last year, he said “I don’t know” 18 times over 100 inquiries.

It goes without saying that everybody’s favorite Belichick is Championship Bill. Obviously he’s at his best when he’s hugging his players and coaches in a confetti shower and authoring instant catch phrases like No! Days! Off! But of all the other Belichicks – Coaching Bill, Grumpy Press Conference Bill, Walking Around Practice Telling Old Football Stories Bill, Relaxed Offseason Bill, Friend to Other Coaches Bill, the rare Expansively Giving You An Answer to an Intelligent Football Question Bill, etc. – this one is my favorite. (Well, besides Graciously Accepted a Copy of My Patriots Book and Then Asked Me to Sign it Bill. But that’s the Bill only I know, so he doesn’t count.) I love Surly, Contemptuous Bill. The guy who started last year’s coaches breakfast like this:

That’s how I prefer my Hooded One. Insolent. Dismissive. Zero patience. No desire to suffer fools gladly. The guy who can’t be bothered to pose for the coaches’ group photo more than once every ten years. The one who’d rather be personally working out Florida Gators players no matter how many times the program has burned him than sit around and grabass with the lesser beings who populate the league. I mean, he doesn’t even have a pick in the top 70. But running around the country sending prospects through the 3-cone drill is still a better use of Belichick’s time than learning the names of the opposing coaches that’ll just get fired next year anyway.

And since the NFL is just going to spend the meetings ignoring any rule changes he proposes (i.e. cameras in the pylons, which would cost about a thousand bucks at Best Buy) and rubber-stamping whatever innovation he comes up with (so long, jumping the center on field goal tries), why reward them with the honor of his presence? Lions do not concern themselves with the opinions of sheep.