Bieber Peed His Pants, Says He Didn't


If peeing your pants is cool, consider Justin Bieber… Justin Bieber. What an outrageous potion of a picture: inhaling a kale smoothie, middle finger LOCKED because he knows someone is taking his picture, pants pissed, shoes untied, looking like a young Eminem. If he wasn’t the biggest star on the planet, you’d probably stop him and say “hey… hey there buddy. Are you okay? Do you need some money?” I have a lot of respect for Bieber because in his shoes, I would certainly have gone off the rails. I date one swimsuit model and I’m slamming doors and scheduling therapy. Acquiring that level of fame at that age, losing all your privacy, constantly hounded by paparazzi, and only a few DUI’s to show for it. If it were me, I’d be living in a treehouse, communicating via a series of short barks, and wearing my own testicles as a necklace.

As good as the picture is, the tweet is even better. The water spilled on my dick area. Haha. I find that very funny. So brazen. The PC term for that region is the crotch, but I always HATED that. It’s the dick area, and for women, the vagina region. As in, oh no, Justin Bieber’s here and I’m leaking fluid in my vagina region; someone get me a beach towel and a pile of sawdust.

The other part I like is “Didn’t bother me if it made ya laugh nice!” How do you read that? Is he saying “it didn’t bother me so long as it made you laugh nicely”? Or is it “it didn’t bother me; if it made you laugh, nice!” The mind reels. What a wordsmith.