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Hey Russia. Friendly Reminder To Suck Our Dicks

Gonna have a lot of people today talking about how “sad” or “pathetic” it is that we Americans still celebrate one win from 37 years ago today in the Olympic semi-finals. And I’m just here right now to say that all of those people, along with the entire country of Russia, can suck our dicks (looking at you, Ryan Lambert). You think it’s sad and pathetic that we still celebrate Independence Day even though that was 241 years ago? Hell no.

February 22, 1980. The day a bunch of college kids went up against the best hockey team in the world and showed them that Freedom and Democracy and Heart and Grit trumps everything. The Soviet Red Army hockey team had won the last 4 gold medals heading into 1980. That’s 16 years of dominance. 16 years of those communist bastards being #1 and walking around on top of the world like their shit don’t stink. But not once Herb Brooks, Mike Eruzione and the gang opened up a can of Uncle Sam on their ass. And that right there was the beginning of the end to the Cold War. 37 years ago today. The Miracle On Ice started the crumble of the Soviet Union and Rocky IV put the final nail in the coffin for those sons of bitches.


So sure. Maybe the United States doesn’t have the same level of success in hockey as Hockey Canada. But have the Canadians ever defeated communism? No. So shut up and let us have this one. And yeah. How’s about you suck our dicks, Russia? Don’t be a bunch of bitches about it. It’s just locker room talk.