Couples Describe Their Dirty Talk During Sex And Validate My Personal Anti-Dirty Talk Stance

First I should clarify my headline: I’m not anti-hearing dirty talk, I’m anti-talking dirty talk. I’m basically a sociopath in the rack who’s scared to talk or make a single noise. I’m that way for multiple reasons: primarily I think it’s because porn has conditioned us that dudes shouldn’t say shit. Guys rarely make a peep on camera and when they do you’re just like, “Oh my god, shut the hell up, dude.”

Second, no girl wants to hear what I have to say. It is patently impossible for me to say anything sexy. Sex with me is like a trip to the gym, you’re just looking for an excuse to bail. Show up to the gym without headphones or it’s hard to find a parking spot or it’s raining before you leave? Fuck this, I’m out. Have sex with me and I try and be “hot”? Fuck this, I’m out. I’m aware of that and the girl is aware of that, there’s no need to push my limits. Any woman having sex with me is basically a woman standing on the edge of a building, ready to jump, and one wrong word could be the one that sends her plummeting. Best not to take that risk.

Rules for dirty talk are the same as the rules for everything else in life, if you’re a hot chick say WHATEVER you want, it’s gonna play. If you’re a dude be thankful a woman is giving you attention and don’t fuck it up.

As for the people taking part in this little study, let’s make snap judgements…

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Totally on Gonzo’s side here, “cock” is all I got. I’m scared to even say that in the sheets but if we’re talking about a sexting situation, referring to my male genitalia as “cock” is about as raunchy as I get.

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These two are so plain they practically blend into the grey background, stunner they’re not into the dirty talk.

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This guy is downright repulsed by his girl’s dirty talk. It hurts him to hear it. He miiiiiight have a secret to tell in a few years after they’ve had a kid or two.

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These to are freaks. They first appeared on screen and I almost fastforward then lil mama started getting nasty and talking about how good it feels inside her and how she doesn’t know if it’s gonna fit and I had to fan myself.

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Her mouth is saying no, her tattoo sleeve and my hope screams yes.

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Her: No!

Him: *not listening because his mind is playing porn dirty talk on loop forever*

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Gay dudes call each other bro while fucking? That’s awesome.

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I wish I was a black lesbian. Black lesbians fuck.