Only A Matter Of Time Before We're Blogging About People Dying On This Rideable Hoverbike

So science nerds have finally created something pretty slick for the first time in their lives. Feel like they’ve been spending all their time and energy lately on artificial intelligence that will eventually lead to the downfall of humanity and wipe out the entire human race. But the Hoverbike Scorpion-3 seems pretty bad ass and it’s about time they contributed something cool to society. Dorks.

With that being said, I think I’ll just go ahead and preemptively write the first “Local Man Dies While Riding Hoverbike” blog now just so I have it ready to post whenever that first death occurs. Because make no mistake about it, the population is going to thin out once these things hit retail. I’m not sure if this is an everywhere thing or just a Philly thing, but you simply can’t drive through the city. No matter where you drive or what time you’re on the road, there’s always going to be a pack of at least 8 or 9 kids dodging in and out of traffic while popping wheelies on their bikes. These little shit stains are begging you to run them over. It’s maddening. Now imagine those little bastards on hoverbikes? It’s going to be a war zone down Broad St.

Also, if they’re not getting hit by cars then those propellers are certainly taking somebody’s head off. We’ve already seen what a little drone can do to Hank’s finger. You get a group of kids flying down the street on a hover bike and you’re looking at at least one decapitation per 3 blocks. So yeah, the Hoverbike Scorpion-3 is a decent start. But don’t talk to me again until we have Speeder Bikes.