Does This Look Like The Face Of Guy Who Tried To Trade Vodka For Girl Scout Cookies?

ARDMORE, Okla. (KXII) — Girl Scouts were trying to sell cookies on Saturday at a mall when they say a man walked up to them and asked for a strange exchange. Ardmore Police arrested 45 year-old Jerry Swanson after he made the unusual request. “They were trying to sell their girl scout cookies and apparently a male subject approached them, asked them if he could trade vodka for Girl Scout cookies,” says Ardmore Police Captain Keith Ingle Ingle says it happened inside this mall off Commerce and 12th Street around 3:30 p.m. . None of the Girl Scouts were hurt, but police say Swanson was so drunk, he didn’t even know what was going on. “He didn’t have anything to say about it, he didn’t even know what they were talking about. He was unsteady on his feet and basically had to place him in the police car and barely able to walk,” Ingle said.

The Girl Scout people are looking at this situation all wrong. Shame on them for calling the police on this guy. Not that Girl Scout cookies need better marketing but the fact that this alcoholic dude was willing to trade his vodka for Girl Scout Cookies proves just how good those cookies are. Vodka is everything to that guy. It’s his livelihood. He can’t function without vodka. He wakes up in the morning and drinks it like coffee. And he’s willing to give all that up for the cookies. Instead of a mug shot we should looking at a billboard that reads “Girl Scout cookies are better than vodka!” I will say, it’s a pretty weird move to just walk up on a Girl Scout Cookie stand, drunk off vodka or not drunk off vodka. Who still goes to actual Girl Scout stands? That’s by far the craziest part of the story. They sell those cookies at the store year round (I think). But I guess when you’re drunk stumbling around with a bottle of vodka it’s hard to just walk by a stand selling Girl Scout cookies. Fuck it, I’m still on this guy’s side.