It's Safe to Say Julian Edelman's Life is Pret-tay, Pret-tay, Pret-tay Good


In the words of Hickory Basketball’s Norman Dale, most people would kill to be treated like a god, just for a few moments. In the words of a less fictionalized coach, Bill Parcells, this is what you work all offseason for. This is why you lift all them weights. This is why you do all that shit.

I swear if I could Quantum Leap into anyone else’s life at this moment, it would be Julian Edelman’s. Since I can’t, I’m going to get myself a VR headset and use it to watch all the Duckboat videos he took. Just to find out what it’s like to be a former college quarterback turned 7th round draft pick turned backup slot receiver turned two time Super Bowl hero with an impossibly magnificent catch on his resume with a hot Swedish babymama who’s banging Adriana Lima and worshiped by millions. On second thought, I think it’d be too much for my brain to handle. There’s a limit to how much winning I can take.