This School Security Guard Trying To Stop A Kid And Getting Thrown 7 Feet In The Air In The Process Needs To Lose His Fake Badge Immediately

Alternate angles on the security guard’s trajectory:

But seriously I get all the arguments: That kid was huge, the guard was off balance since he was coming from the floor and trying to pin him down, I’ll even let you point out the stereotypical presumed athletic discrepancy if you think that’s one that needs to be said. But you simply CANNOT continue working as a school security guard and get sent sky high like a toddler pretending to be an airplane with poppa by a student and continue doing your job. Did you hear that response from the kids? They know now, whether they’re correct or not, that this aerodynamic bald man can be popped up into the air like a Street Fighter combo with very little effort whenever they need to get out of trouble. Why face consequences for your actions when you can send the helium-filled security guard soaring into the air away from your problems?

There’s simply no saving face here, even the guy getting right back up with his severed spine didn’t impress me much. Time to move to another school or maybe find another career. Perhaps getting tied to an old man’s house as he attempts to float away from his depressing widowed life? I’m no career counselor but let’s get the idea train started.