McDonald's Is Rolling Out Four New Shamrock Shake Drinks This Year

Brand Eating- McDonald’s introduces a chocolaty twist to the annual return of the Shamrock Shake with the introduction of the new, limited-time Chocolate Shamrock beverage line. The seasonal selection boasts a total of five drinks. They are:

– Original Shamrock Shake – A blend of vanilla soft serve and mint-flavored Shamrock Shake syrup. New this year is a sprinkle of green sugar crystals to go with the standard whipped topping and maraschino cherry.

– New Chocolate Shamrock Shake – A layered shake with chocolate shake on the bottom and Shamrock Shake on top. It comes topped with whipped topping, green sugar crystals, and a drizzle of chocolate syrup.

– New Shamrock Chocolate Chip Frappe – A Chocolate Chip Frappe (mocha frappe base, caramel frappe base, chocolate chips, and ice) blended with Shamrock Shake syrup and finished with whipped topping, green sugar crystals, and a drizzle of chocolate syrup.

– New Shamrock Hot Chocolate – A hot chocolate (steamed milk and chocolate syrup) with Shamrock Shake syrup

– New Shamrock Mocha – A mocha (chocolate syrup, espresso, and steamed milk) with Shamrock Shake syrup.

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO!!! Far too many times we have seen fast food joints get a little too creative with their menu and fuck shit up. Like when Mickey D’s started slinging pizza and hot dogs. Just colossal miscalculations. But somebody at the Golden Arches finally figured out how you keep an empire afloat. Build on the shoulders of your franchise players. In McDonald’s case, that is the fries, chicken nuggets, and Shamrock Shake (McDonald’s burgers are trash and we all know it). No need to get fancy. Keep It Simple Stupid. And I don’t want to hear the people that don’t like the Shamrock Shake because “It tastes like toothpaste”. Toothpaste is mint. So is the Shamrock Shake. One is a delicious treat, the other is a toiletry. Telling the two apart is easy peezy. Saying they taste the same is like saying Cherry Coke tastes like it has medicine in it. Just a terrible culinary take.

Now is part of me is scared that McDonald’s may burn out the Shamrock Shake like Thibs did Derrick Rose, the Chiefs did Larry Johnson, or Dusty Baker did basically every good arm he ever had? Of course. But I think Mickey D’s has learned a lesson about relying too much on what the public likes, since I have never seen anybody eat McDonald’s breakfast for lunch or dinner after they made it an all-day extravaganza. I don’t think we will have to institute the Joba Rules for McDonald’s anytime soon.

And this news couldn’t come at a better time. Football season is over, it’s cold as fuck outside, and there is nothing to look forward to until March Madness, baseball, and warm weather gets here. We need something to look forward to during our biggest time of need.